Family Profile Part 1: Alexander the Great

by Chris on October 18, 2009

The first day Alex and his daddy looked eye to eye.

The first day Alex and his daddy looked eye to eye.

As always, this is all 100% true, with only the names being changed to protect the privacy of all involved…

Alex is my youngest child, and is absolutely amazing! His smile will light up a city block, and he’s so active and very silly. His biological dad is an Ultimate Fighting Championship coach, and I fear that Alex may have picked up a bit of this in his genes lol.  He’s tough as nails, happy as a kid (or my wife) in a candy shop, and very handsome. Bio-daddy is a Philippino, so Alex’s skin complexion is a bit darker than most of the kids, but not enough to warrant concern from judgmental passers-by. How this amazing boy came to be is a story worth sharing…

Gayle became pregnant with Alex during our first separation, and the bio-dad wanted her to get an abortion.  Gayle’s first child, Daniel, born 15 years earlier, was conceived during an alcohol-induced date rape by an unknown father.  Daniel, whom I proudly call my oldest son today,  has proven to be an amazing blessing in our  lives and is a prime example of why abortion should not an option.  As a mother who has lived through this experience and had four more  children after that, she is a strong supporter of a child’s right to life. Even so, she was under immense pressure by the bio-dad to consider an abortion. To that point, she also had not let anyone know the truth about her relationship with him, or that she was even pregnant. I suspect that a strong dos of shame and fear of “harming” bio-dad’s relationship with his significant other kept her in a cloud of confusion and hopelessness about her situation and what the she should do about it.

Alex's 2nd Birthday

Alex's 2nd Birthday

It was this relationship that Gayle started with bio-dad, whom I mentioned already was (and continues to be) in a long term relationship with another woman, has three kids with her, and has cheated on her in the past, getting yet another girl pregnant, that lead her to believe she had no chance to reconcile with me. Under normal circumstances she probably would have been right.  After months of confusion and stories not adding up, however, one day Gayle came clean and told me she was pregnant with another man’s child. For some reason, rather than anger, I felt relief and a desire to help. Everything I had witnessed since our unexpected break-up started to make sense. I had an overwhelming desire to step in and make something good happen from all of this pain, and I offered to adopt and care for the new child, rather than her even consider harming herself or the child. This conversation was the turning point that lead to our reconciliation, and by the time Alex was born, we were married again,  living together in a new home in southern Washington, at least that was the case for the first year of our second marriage…

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